Most of my inspiration is from sadness...When I write, I create a release..I have no intention of causing depression from my poetry, if anything I appreciate the ability to express it.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011



I'm standing in the middle of the road,
The lines under me, beneath my shadow.

Blurs of metal pass, clear portraits of faces stop to watch me..
I take a step, but am frozen.
The once clear highway is swallowed in traffic. 

Burning debris, clouds of smoke,
Inhalation of silence and poison.  

If I withhold the truth, this road will end.....
Honesty will burn you like I have. 



Friday, December 9, 2011

This dark chapter won't end.
My extension in life worn thin.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Today my heart moves away...
A frame in time it was mine.

I lived in my dreams and felt pain by the river.
The foundation of a place I have never been, haunts me with familiarity,
Silent trees covered in grey moss, a sinking piano..
On my hands and knees I pleaded for my home..

The day grew darker, my hands had frozen.
Snowflakes falling before me had formed into a blizzard,
A glass globe surrounds this landscape,
Enclosing me from freedom.














 






Sunday, December 4, 2011

I wrote another song...

But I haven't finished it. It's a work in progress, but here are the lyrics for now.


I'll ride in your car, if you take me to the mountains..
I'll learn the guitar, if you promise me you'll listen..

Take a picture of this, and remember
Capture the moment of our first kiss and forget.

I'll ride in your car, if you take me to a show.
I'll learn the guitar, if I can only play alone.

Take back all of what we miss, and see..
Forgive for how we ended up like this, and regret.

I'll ride in your car...if you promise to take me home.

Friday, December 2, 2011

If you are feeling lonely, this might help.

A very good friend shared this video with me, I think it's really neat.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7X7sZzSXYs&fb_source=message

Monday, November 28, 2011

I wrote a song...

I'm an amateur guitar player who needs new strings and hasn't played much in a month...hah...and I sort of messed up toward the end, oh well!
I'll record a better version sometime,here's the rough draft.

 video --->  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1q5M9fvHrHE

I remember sunshine, in December
Walked through the snow, to see me,
Removed all your clothes, to warm me,
You sang me a song, and kissed me

But it's over..
Your heart had frozen over...
September never seemed much colder...
It's really over...

I remember darkness, in September,
Walked through hell, when you left me,
Removed all your love, so quickly,
You broke my soul and hurt me....













Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Effortlessly, I adore this endlessly...
When I walk up the stairs, I know you'll never go there.
Looking down below, I'm comforted to still know,
I am up here on my own.




Tuesday, November 22, 2011


 Was shown this music video...Very interesting! and found the other one...Sort of strange, but those two songs seem all too familiar...At least I'm not alone.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UVNT4wvIGY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=zaJH2Oq27OY

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

" The Hopkinton Spirit "

Wriiten by my Grandmother Margaret.


There's a "Spirit" in Hopkinton,
That will always prevail.
It always has and always will.
It is present without fail!

Its' a Spirit of Love'
Of pride in our home town.
One thing we all agree on
Its' the "best town" around!

You feel it in the Churches,
As you worship each Sunday.
You sense it in your neighbors,
As you listen to what they say.

Its' present in the schools, 
On the playing fields too.
Its' pride in the Boston Marathon,
Shared by both the old and the new!

Even if we sometimes
Seem to disagree
"The Hopkinton Spirit" will survive,
Just you wait and see.


Wonder if Poetry is hereditary! She's a much more positive writer than I. 
















My bloodline divided, no ties of my own,
I struggled to endure strife, to find a safe home.
I longed for shelter and solace,
None of this mattered without my children.

Your gonna fail, you can't do this on your own,
Were the opinions of the people I trusted.
I was weakened by my ordeals, but within myself was a will to begin. 
I walked through hail and the knives that were thrown,
Ignored all the critics that thought I was wrong. 
I couldn't let myself just fall, plummet to the deep end and ignore what I was,

It was important to be strong and not give in,
Push myself over the limits...Accomplish the list I had written...
The pain and suffering I have felt, is an imprint that I'll never forget.

The blessing from this all, is a peace from independence not many have known,
Simple problems that people have faced, are a smudge of my lipstick I can easily wipe away....


I respect myself in a different light, that once lonely girl is no longer afraid,
My strength and devotion has inspired me to believe, I am worthy. 











Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Picking up this scattered mess, going back to the place I regret,
The garbage isn't gone, it's thrown against the walls,
Fear of giving in to a place I cannot go, fear of falling back into sinister ways.
Wonder what is left after I clean up this mess. 

There's no peace at home when your brain cannot sleep, no silence when my children bound me with anxiety.









Sunday, November 13, 2011

Dear Russian spies,



Please stop trying to hack my blog.











Thursday, November 10, 2011

Unintentional avidity, unexpected fixation....
With prosperity in my hands I find reconciliation in myself. 
Aware of my convictions, I procrastinate...
Taking a view from these blue glass windows,
I see what I used to beam. 

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

My morning with Connor...

My charming darling laughs and questions my smile,
He listens to my poetry and compliments the sound.

The morning daylight reveals his creative imagination,
his intelligence demonstrates his inquisitive patience.







The cold fall air brings chills to my bones, the train in the night shakes my porch..
Moonlight carries the stars in a way, where the street lamps have no purpose. 
The fire red trees sway in the dark, the train still calls in the distance.
Drawn into your conversation, forgetting my breath is shown..
Lose the feeling of my finger tips, my face turned numb...





Sunday, November 6, 2011

Candle light shines my room, unaccompanied stillness brings me peace..
The chaos of what is behind myself, fills the void with discernment.









Poem written by Li Ch'ing-chao

"Thoughts from the women's quarter"

 She smiles as she pushes aside
The curtain embroidered with water lilies,
And leans her perfumed cheek
Against the precious duck incense burner.
She gently rolls her eyes as he begs her
To tell him what she is thinking about.

After he has gone,
Her flirtatious face becomes pensive
And radiates the essence of beauty.
She fills half a page
With endearing reproaches,
And sends him her most intimate thoughts.
She makes an assignation,
"Come to me again when the moon
Moves the flowers shadows."












Thursday, November 3, 2011

When I fell asleep I didn't realize my dream would become real,
That the hours I was sleeping were moments of the day I was living,
The bright pink skies depicted of what I thought was my imagination,  
The man with the green eyes was a true infatuation who walked by my side...

I ran on what I thought were clouds, but it was air beneath my feet,
I pummeled through a forest, but it was only my tragedy,
I watched my heart die, a dagger gore fest like scene,
My insides were squeezing into a tight fisted way...

The reality was harsh, it was too horrid to be true, 
If I didn't think twice I never expected this from you,
The nightmare is now, I have to wake up from the grief...
These feelings of sorrow are an echo from our history. ..

I come off as pathetic and selfish...
To an audience of who I'd give my everything...

The show is now over, commence on with the next dream.











Saturday, October 22, 2011

The nature of it all is that I feel for him in vain,
When his sadness fills the room, I can't help but suffer the same,
And the memories I posses make me feel a strange discomfort
Of the after math mess that has surrounded this hollow...heart of mine. 

It's all uncertain, these promises that were made,
Returned all comfort, the deal was never played...

I sigh and I scorch in,  the fire that has grown,
I gaze into safety, but feel like I'm too far from home..

I wallow in this maze, too weak to raise my feet...
A mere glimpse of my future makes me realize I have faith,..
I don't depend on love, but I won't shine it away...
I'll remember what has happened and how I've learned from my mistakes. 









Thursday, October 20, 2011

Your time

I'm numb. I'm frail.  I'm cold. I'm lost.

I blink my eyes and nothings there. 
I think of the past and I no longer care.
I've been paid a severance for your loss,
Not long ago was only mine.

My well being blown away, pushed aside for a new day.
What I wanted was blind, my dreams of you are left behind.

Pain and hurting hearts, linger longer when we are not apart.

Escape me now, I only want whats meant. 













Tuesday, October 18, 2011

song

I remember sunshine, in December
Walk through the snow, to see me
Remove all your clothes, to warm me..
You sang me a song and kissed me...

That was then and it's over,
You told me when I discovered,
Your heart was hard and frozen,
September never seem so much colder..

I remember darkness, in September
Walked through hell, when you left me,
Removed all your love, so quickly...
You broke my soul and hurt me.










Tuesday, October 4, 2011

I lost my gun in the dirt during a stand off with you, held back your shot while I scattered ...

I came to my senses and pulled out my defenses, a small pistol strapped below my knee..

I aimed in clear sight, my finger on the trigger..I couldn't pull it even if you made me..

I fear in my head that your love for me isn't there, hear the whispers of the townsfolk your lost.

These sandstone tombs lay around in my room, engraved the names of the ones who loved too much.

This revolving door has no where to go, It's turning like it should, but it hasn't stopped for me..

The parlors lamp lights make us forget that it's night, the dancers sin has filled this town..

 I won't let them bury me to the ground, nor will I deny who I am, I cannot pretend that my feelings are met...

 If my fate is the noose, hang my heart till I bleed, I'd rather face it now then eventually...

 


Monday, August 29, 2011

I take photographs, to remember my life,
I keep them in a box, to keep them for awhile,
Sometimes I look at my old albums.. and laugh,
Other times I erase them from my mind.










Understanding it all.

We exist in a fish bowl swirling around,
Searching for a part of our heart that's lost.
Destined to find a soul that leaves us earth bound,
Prevent our bodies from floating into the sun. 

The flesh and bones are hollow,
Our minds and thoughts are space,
The feet that we walk on, can't get you to this state.

These dreams, they torture, leading you away,
The reality hasn't started, it's happened again today.
 
And when the lights go out, will I see your face? 
And when my heart stops beating, will my love decay...

We try to understand the atmosphere, decipher what causes pain,
Dissect our nature, know everything about everything. 
The structures that surround us, our hollow thin air,
The people we talk with are really not there.

My connection is fading, my aura is grey,
Like a satellite engulfed by a bursting star,  
Particles of my life are drifting..



















Tuesday, June 21, 2011

announcement

I vent. I heart life.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

morphed vision

Today I feel beautiful, tomorrow I feel plain,
Yesterday I glance in the mirror only to see an unsightly appearance,
Not long ago, I admired what was on the outside,
But now my presence scorns my vision of what's existent,

What lies inside beyond my sight,
Not a thought nor a vision that won't make me ill,


How can one ounce or weight that means nothing,
Sink me to the bottom where I submerge......










Friday, May 27, 2011

Postpartum

I wrote these two poems in December of last year......

" The end is the beginning "

Deprivation of love,
Callus emotion set in stone,
Words no longer had meaning,
Actions non existent.

My life was black and white,
Broken, disfigured heart of lies,
The truth hurt too much to admit,
After math separation arise.

I drink you in like my last glass of water,
Hurting within, fearing this ship will go under,
Open my eyes, prove to me light exists,
I can't let the darkness inside lose us in the mist.

"Feel alone"

It's cold inside,
Loneliness hasn't got the best of me yet...
The tears I cry, lack the saline I can't produce..

Ships have sailed and left me here,
Stranded on an island, survival on my side,
If I keep fighting, will this dream I wake ever exist?

Monday, May 16, 2011

Stranded in sunshine

Dust moving freely across a dry baron land,
A mirage in the distance, tricks revealed in the sand,

 Blinding rays of sunshine have drowned my skin,
 Like a cracking canvas, broken down from within.

Freedom surrounds me, yet bound to the ground,
All directions available, the distance never ends.....
In this life we cannot pretend, there is no time to extend...

No apologies, no rain checks, just a sad song that we cannot forget....

If I could, I would, If I knew right, I should....
If flames fell down from the sky, lit the world with lethal sunshine,
I'd forget why I was this way, pray to have you one more day...


























Monday, March 21, 2011

Vampire

I wrote this poem a few months ago, I will not post the original, because it is very erotic...




Dark hallways leading to lanterns filled with fire,
Not a whisper or a shout can escape these walls,
Shadows lurk the corners, foot steps echo from a stranger,
Closing in on the prey he'll devour,

Blinding light emits from the cracks up above,
Water pouring from the sky like wine from a bottle,
Rays from the sun fill the once black room,
The dark figures vanish like a blur,

Your hands and feet bound,  stumble your way to the end,
Drag yourself out, fighting to live,
Little do you know, the escape you've planned will fail,
Every exit that would exist is burning on fire.

The clock chimes dusk, your heart pounding like a drum
All hope is lost, all fears have come real,
Panic in your mind, the disease spread to your lungs,
Rapid forms of breath, inhibiting your equilibrium

Smoke fills the air, you crawl on your knees,
Choking on the oxygen, dragging your limbs till you bleed,
Your vision impaired, reaching for safety to grasp
Touching the stones on the walls, remembering each one like a map

Danger lurks behind you, zooming in on your location
Disturbing voices getting louder by the second,
Sense the evil, envision your collapse,
Fear your future, fear what is left.

Close your eyes, shield your face
Open your eyes, meet your fate,
Darkness remains, it's all that you see...



Motions swifting back and forth, you beg, you plead
Forceful pull to the ground, every inch of your skin touched,
Violent violations of your mouth, all of your clothing ripped off,
Claws sinking deep into your flesh, slamming your pelvis hard onto the stone

These eyes intensely shine bright in the dark, demented glare staring into yours,
Pale skin, cold touch,  spread your legs...

Motion in the dark, the figure disappears,
Left alone once again, day light covers the ruins you lay within,
Covered in blood, draining out your veins,
Bite marks and bruises decorate your frail body,
Life escaping the hell, rebirth of the undead.


Friday, February 18, 2011

Waves rock our bed across a never ending sea,
Dresser draws float along the sides, watch our pajamas drifting,
The water is turquoise with a baby blue sky,
No lighthouse to guide us back, islands miles from reach,


Hide under the crimson sheets, it's warm and safe with you,
Close your eyes and don't forget my love for you is true.